Monday, January 11, 2016

COMMON SINGLE LADIES' MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE

You might have heard many things about marriage but some vital things you may not have heard. Welcome to my blog! You're in for an awakening. Before we go into the discussion of the topic, I have a question to ask you? What are your priorities when it comes to marriage and getting married? Perhaps you are one of millions of women who emphasize the following qualities in a potential partner; handsome, rich, outgoing, intelligent, smart, loving, well traveled, caring and loving. These are all great qualities to want in a partner. Have you also been dreaming about marriage as a bed of roses? Here are some truths about marriage that you should know:
1. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Everyday is not beautiful and glamorous in marriage. Although marriage is a beautiful thing, you still have to keep in mind that it involves people with emotions, sometimes clashing emotions. In marriage, you're not always going to have your way or what you want because it is the greatest journey of compromise anyone could ever be on. Marriage could be a bed of roses, if you are married to the right person. It could also be a bed of thorns, if you are married to the wrong person. It takes work, commitment and compromise to tend a bed of roses. In order words, you and your partner will have to work together to make your marriage sweet.

Many single women think or believe that all of their problems would be solved when they get married. All of your problems will not automatically be solved when you get married. In fact, in some cases your problems will double. If you go into a marriage expecting it to solve all of your problems, you will be amazingly disappointed. Although it is true that in marriage you have a support system in your spouse. However, your spouse is not Jesus Christ. He is human just like you. You and your spouse (praying that you marry a supportive one) will have to consciously work together to find solutions to your problems. You have to be willing and ready to share your problems with your spouse and consider/accept his offer to help you out.

"If only I get married, all my body image issues would go away." If this person is you, stop right there! Marriage will not solve your image issues. That is something you will have to handle on your own. The reason is that no one will love and accept you the way that only you can. You have the ability to love and accept yourself, despite your flaws. Why does the Bible say in Matthew 22 vs. 29 "to love thy neighbor as thyself?" It is because as human beings, we are naturally inclined to be selfish and self-centered. If you can't love yourself, how can you know what loving others is like? You really can't give what you don't have. However, you can fake giving what you don't have. Don't expect your spouse to teach you how to love and accept yourself. Loving and accepting yourself is something that only you can do. If you have a hard time accepting and loving yourself, no amount of time and energy your spouse puts into helping you will work. The choice is yours to make. If you have a problem loving and accepting yourself, you develop the tendency of doubting and questioning other people's love for you.

Marriage will not always bring out the best in you. No marriage is perfect because it is a union of people. People make mistakes, get angry, excited, happy and they also get mad. In marriage, emotions that you may not have felt before come out. Your spouse will not always say the right things or do what you ask him to do. My husband does not always remember to turn the stove down, when I ask him to. It's not because he does it on purpose. It is just something about men. Their attention span can be limited and it aggravates us, women. Men forget their anniversaries most of the time, while women don't. If you are the kind of woman who gets angry at the slightest mishap, you will learn to accept certain honest mistakes men make. Like when he forgets to pick up a jar of milk from the grocery store or forgets that the day is your wedding anniversary etcetera. There are times you may want to convince yourself to believe that maybe he does what he does on purpose, but that's the absolute wrong way to go about it. You are going to be mad at your spouse sometimes. I'm still learning to talk to my man about everything so that I don't hold a grudge against my man. Like when he was supposed to clean the toilet but didn't because he forgot about I asked him to do it. Marriage thrives on mutual respect and communication. I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are going to be happy days and not so happy days with your spouse. What matters most is that your happy days are more than your not so happy days.

There are many unmarried people who assume that married people have sex everyday. I have heard a lot of single ladies say that they will have sex everyday with their spouse when they get married because that is what keeps the marriage together. While it is true that you have a lot of sex when you get married, it is not true that most married people have sex like rabbits everyday. Just to clear some misconception, sex is not what keeps a marriage together. It is awesome for married people to have regular sex but what keeps a marriage is mutual respect and open communications. There are days when all you want to do is hug and kiss your spouse from morning till night time. If you're married reading this; is this true for you or is it just me? *smile* Then there are days when you want to have steamy sex with your spouse. The joy of marital sex is that you're both committed and have control of each others bodies. Sorry single lady, I deviated for a second. I hope that you're getting valuable information from this post?

Ladies, don't go into a marriage thinking that your spouse will know how you're feeling and thinking all the time. No man is a mind reader. Women are better at reading body languages and moods than men. In marriage, you will learn to put a voice to your feelings and thoughts because your husband is not a mind reader. With that said, there are so many other things you will learn about marriage while you are in it, that no book or person would prepare you for. However, if you talk to married people, you will find out that they share certain similarities.

If a man does not treat you right while you are dating him, marriage is not going to make him an angel. I think that men are usually ten times who they are while they are dating you, when they marry you. Marriage is a beautiful journey that should be embarked on with caution. If he abuses and treats you like trash while he's your boyfriend, he's going to do the same when he becomes your husband ladies. Thank you for reading this today. Have a lovely day!